Positively Positive

Good Morning Bleeps.

Yesterday was a bad day. I was super sad because my family left to go home to Florida and as always it hit me like a ton of bricks how far away they all are. Thankfully in these modern times of the internet (Facebook) I am able to speak to them most days but it isn't the same as being able to get/give that important hug on a down day, is it?

Thankfully my Sister and Mum are coming back at the end of next month as we have another family wedding to attend so that is something positive to focus on.

My legs were really bad yesterday. I mean REALLY bad and it makes me feel a bit worried. Lots of "what ifs" whirl around my mind but really what is the point of torturing myself with "maybes" because it might never happen. It hurts to walk right now but that doesn't mean that it is going to stay like this or (God forbid) get worse, does it? I have to keep thinking and believing that tomorrow I will wake up and the pain has gone again. Maybe I just over did it a bit with having company here and being out of my normal routine. I will try to rest a little more over the next few days and keep my fingers crossed that they start to feel better again.

I actually need them to feel better sooner rather than later because I have been eating like a pig over the last two weeks. I blame my sister (ha ha) and her love of English cuisine. Whenever she comes "home" she wants to eat all of the foods that she misses from her homeland. You know, the British greats like curry, biscuits and sausage rolls! It would have been rude to not join her, right?

Well I also have a love of dresses by The Pretty Dress Company (the dress that I was wearing in the photo in yesterday's blog was the Hourglass in Blush Pink). These beautiful creations are very figure hugging and I have the Red Wonder to get into for the next wedding. The problem I have is that with the leg pains I cant exactly get my fat ass back to the gym right now to burn off the sausage roll & pork pie calories that I consumed recently. I NEED my legs to stop hurting so that I can at least get in the pool or do some yoga/pilates. At the moment I am hurting to walk. Grrr!!!

I did get some messages after yesterday's blog from people telling me that sometimes they also wallow in a bit of self pity and that it is normal and OK to feel like that. I was comforted and felt less guilty reading those. I also got a couple of "keep positive" messages, which I know were meant to help but you know when you aren't feeling very positive it can be the last thing you want to hear, you know? I want to slap my forehead sarcastically and say "ooooh, stay positive? Why on earth didn't I think of that?"

I know people mean well  but just because someone is having a bad day/week/month, it doesn't mean they are negative or giving up. It just means it is a bad day/week/month and that is OK! OK?! If you are feeling low or in pain and want to lay in bed feeling sorry for yourself today then go for it, you totally have the right. Living in a body that hurts most of the time GIVES you that right and if someone tells you to "look on the bright side" or "keep your chin up" or my FAVOURITE "there are others worse off" then you have my permission to tell them to shove their heads up their bums - positively ;)

I have had some MSers tell me how they don't let it get them down, they stay positive all of the time etc. and I think that is amazing, I admire them so much and I wish I knew how to get there but sometimes (like yesterday) I just want to throw a little tantrum like a two year old about how it is not fair. Thankfully that isnt very often and I am able to keep on smiling.

So enough about me, how are YOU?