Sausages? Again?

For as long as I can remember (no pun intended) my girls (ahem, Madeleine) have been teasing me whenever an advert or news report comes on the television or radio about Dementia or anything relating to memory loss.  Of course there is nothing slightly amusing about Dementia but my children would take great pleasure in teasing me about being so forgetful.

My short term memory has been completely shot for quite a while and I was secretly quite concerned about how much I was forgetting.  I would tell the same story over again or ask my kids to do something and be met with a reply of "Yes Mum, you already asked us that".  I honestly could not remember.  My brain seemed to be working on a permanent "go slow".

Since being diagnosed the penny has dropped WHY I was having trouble concentrating and remembering to do simple things. This has progressed lately to having trouble finding a simple word to fit into a sentence.  I will literally be mid-sentence and then BAM then next word is completely gone.  I am not talking about trying to find a word that one would need a degree in English Language, I mean a simple word that is just suddenly "gone" from the tip of my tongue.  I am then rendered speechless until the person to whom I am speaking jumps to my aid or the word comes back to me (usually after a few "oh what is that word" type comments).

According to the Multiple Sclerosis Resource Centre this can be attributed to "decreased speed on information processing. Thought processes of the brain are interconnected to the conscious areas of the brain via myelinated nerves."  Of course my body is attacking the myelin around my nerves (gee, thanks body) and so it does at least explains why I am so scatty and have attention span of a goldfish lately.

It is like my brain is in "safe mode" and can only think of one thing at a time so what I have started to do is jot things down on post-it notes.  My lovely other half, Phil, went out and bought a calendar to hang on the wall so that all Doctor appointments, school dates and anything else that we are committed to can be written down and (hopefully) not forgotten.

Now I am thinking that maybe I need to note down what I cook for dinners too because last night I decided to make one of my favourite "winter warmer" comfort meals of sausage, beans and mash. When she got home from school my youngest asked what was for dinner and when I told her I fully expected a positive response. Instead got a disappointed "but we just had that a couple of days ago".

We did????  I honestly didn't remember and thought we hadn't had it since before Christmas. Now this might seem like a trivial thing to most people but honestly I was sitting there racking my brain and I still could not think of when we had that meal.  Once the girls explained what day it was (reminding me that their step sister was here) then it finally fell into place but it still wasn't a vivid memory, more like remembering a dream rather than an actual event.

So if you talk to me and tell me something that I forget, of if it feels like I am not 100% "in the room" or concentrating, at least you know it isn't personal.  It's my slow brain.

I think I am going to need a bigger calendar!

So enough about me, how are YOU?
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