How Many Spoons Do You Have Today?

Good Morning Bleeps.

It is freezing here in the South East of England today. I am snuggled in my fluffy white robe on the sofa (not like me, is it?) and I just can't warm up. It's times like this I wish I had some thermals. I have woken up with "heavy as a hippo" legs again today. Actually I had them in the middle of the night too, I lay there in bed with legs so heavy that they felt like they would go through the mattress. Those invisible aliens sitting on me again, cheeky gits!

Actually what woke me up in the middle of the night was the fact that the bedroom was like the Antarctic.  You see my sister, Diane, told me about a Dr. Oz who was on a US morning talk show speaking about how to help insomnia. One of the tips was to have the bedroom cold and so I decided to open all of the windows. The thing is, it dropped below freezing and since we overlook the sea it got bitterly cold in the bedroom. Not even snuggling under the duvet was enough to keep warm but it was too cold outside the covers that I couldn't face getting out of bed to close the windows (come on, most us have been there, don't judge). It is safe to say I wasn't very popular with Phil, in fact his exact words this morning were something along the lines of "It's bloody freezing in here, I hate you". A bit harsh, ha ha!

So I am sitting here with my second cup of coffee of the morning trying to warm up and also trying to ignore my dizzy head and left eye pain. After my freaky episode last week of going blind I get nervous when my eye starts to go funky now. I really hope that was a one off but every time it starts to feel weird, I get nervous.

Anyway enough about what ails me today, I wanted to share something with you that I read yesterday. One of the most useful websites that I have found since being diagnosed (well, actually it helped me to recognise some symptoms before my diagnosis) is the MSRC (Multiple Sclerosis Resource Centre). I follow them on Twitter and Facebook (blimey, I sound like a stalker now) and yesterday they Tweeted a link to a story called The Spoon Theory. I decided to check it out.

The Spoon Theory, written by Christine Miserandino, is a great way to explain to someone what it is like living with an invisible illness. It is written so beautifully and to summarise, Christine talks about going out to dinner with a friend who asks what it is like having Lupus, another chronic illness. She explains it to her friend by having her collect all the spoons on the table. Each spoon represents a unit of energy that people with a chronic illness start the day with. She then goes on to talk through a typical day and has her friend hand over a spoon for each task, from getting out of bed to choosing what to wear. By the end of the hypothetical day she is left with only one spoon but has yet to eat. If she uses that spoon to cook dinner she doesn't have a spoon left to wash dishes or do anything else that evening and if she uses it to go out to eat she might not have a spoon left to get home.

I thought it was a lovely way to try to explain it to someone who doesn't have to think about what they can or can't do on a day-to-day basis. I am sure a lot of MSers will already be familiar with it but if not check it out, it really hit home for me.

This morning I don't have as many spoons as I would like but I am feeling quite positive. Sure, I could feel better physically but I could also feel worse (hey Universe, that wasn't a challenge). I was supposed to see a friend today but had to cancel as I simply don't have enough spoons. She also has a chronic illness and so she totally understood, which is lovely because sometimes you feel like you are making excuses when you have to cancel plans. It is nice to know she doesn't think that and that she really "gets" it although it sucks that she gets it because I hate that she struggles with her illness (Sjogren Syndrome).

Before I leave you today I just wanted to thank a reader called Ems, who made my day with her lovely comment yesterday.  She wrote that "It is so great to hear someone else express so well how MS feels on a day-to-day basis. Although you think you are being negative you are actually being a real help to people like me who need to know others are going through the same things." Thank you Ems, that comment actually brought tears to my eyes.

Sometimes I sit here blogging away and thinking to myself "Bloody hell Karen, you sound like a miserable cow again" and so it is nice to know that sometimes people can relate, it means a lot!

So enough about me, how are YOU?