Going LUPY!

Good Morning Bleeps.

Is it really Monday again already? Ugh, who stole the weekend?

I had a crappy night sleep again last night, for some reason lately when I want to sleep my heart decides it wants to party and it literally wakes me up. Last night was quite scary because my heart was racing so fast that it felt like it was going to gallop right out of my chest. Yesterday was a "bad breathing" day too, I just couldn't get enough air in my lungs.

I know the other day I was trying to focus on my "so whats" but my "what ifs" came back to me yesterday - they always seem to be able to sneak back up on me no matter how hard I try to keep them at bay.

You see, since my "Mad Scientist" post I can't stop wondering about Lupus. I tick so many of the symptom boxes and some of them are more "Lupus like" than "MS like" (like the racing heart, high blood pressure, Raynauds Syndrome, abdominal pain with nausea and hair loss). I came across it when I researched other illnesses that could show up on a brain MRI and this is one of them.

A while back my GP ran a series of blood tests that were "normal procedure" when starting patients on the blood pressure tablets that I take. I got a call to say my Rheumatoid Factor came back elevated (as well as my cholesterol) and that I needed to have a telephone appointment with the GP. When the GP called she asked what I wanted and I replied that it wasn't ME that initiated the appointment, it was them based on my blood results. She looked through them (seemed a bit put out that she had called me) and said my results were all fine. I asked about the Rheumatoid Factor thing and the cholesterol but she said they were fine and nothing to worry about. WTF? Alright then!

Anyway that was months ago and before my flare up of symptoms and so I didn't really think much of it, other than the usual "My GP surgery is crap". Lately it has started to creep back into my mind. I know my Neurologist has run a lot of blood tests and one of them was the ANA test, which I think is one of the screenings for Lupus. If it is had come back dodgy then I am thinking that I would have heard about it. Or is it like trying to diagnose MS in that you can get normal blood tests but still have Lupus? I don;t know. I feel like I know the diagnosis procedure of MS like the back of my hand but this one is new.

Phil had a date with a football yesterday so I had a secret rendezvous with Google, I didn't want to do it in front of him because I don't want him to think I am neurotic (or a hypo) but yet I needed more information. One of the things that I came across was that when you get one autoimmune illness, it can trigger others. So of course my brain instantly went into "melt down" mode and I started to over think it all. What if I have both? What I have neither and it is something else? What if, what if (again).

I know I have a dodgy right kidney (have done for years) and Lupus attacks the internal organs. Having said that my kidney function blood tests came back OK and wouldn't something have shown up?

Lupus affects the joints and from my reading also the ligaments. Is this a possible reason that I had so many ligament related injuries when I would run? Is this why at night my knees feel hot and throb?

As you can see, I am going a bit crazy here. It is the not knowing, I can't stand it. I have just made an appointment with the GP (a different one) and I am just going to ask him for my blood results so that I have the information. I don't expect anything else, just the information at this stage. That way, when I finally go back to my Neuro in April (yes, two months after my additional tests were done) if he keeps my diagnosis at probable MS then I will have another avenue to explore.

It seems to me that you have to be your own advocate with your health. The idea that you get sick, Doctors CARE and help you to figure it out is a bit of a myth from what I have experienced so far. Having said that, my cardiologist was very understanding and I DID feel concern from him. The irony is not lost on me, a heart specialist that really does have a heart! I am sure there are many great GP's out there that do give a damn but so far this has not been my experience.

Wish me luck bleeps, I am going to try to keep my calm and have a direct, mature, emotionless conversation with a GP this afternoon. For someone that is intimidated by Doctors (because they make me feel like a whack job) this will be a challenge.

So enough about me, how are YOU?