A Right Pain

Good Morning Bleeps.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend and start to your week. I haven't felt much like blogging because to be honest I feel a bit exposed and creeped out.

Someone from my past has been reading and then taunted me by text calling them my "online rants" and "nonsense", using my illness as a weapon against me by saying cruel things about "not being right in the brain". Well duh, I think my abnormal brain scan showing lesions has already confirmed that not all is right in my brain, a bit sick to actually use this as a way to be abusive though I think. It has left me feeling stressed and vulnerable and that is the last thing I need right now as we all know the direct link between stress and symptoms. I almost thought of not blogging any more but then this person wins and I will be allowing myself to be controlled by their nastiness. I have decided to ignore the abuse and carry on because I really feel it helps to put my thoughts "out there" and I have had enough feedback to know that some of you relate to what I say.

On the upside my blog hit over 20,000 views this weekend, which just blows my mind because I only started it (not even) three months ago. I am honoured, humbled and very, VERY grateful. Thank you!

Yesterday I ended up back at the Doctors. I am still struggling with this pain in my right side along with constant nausea. I wake up feeling sick (watery mouth like I am going to throw up) and it gets worse after I eat. I saw a different GP, in fact he is the main Doctor at the practice but it used to be so hard to get to see him because he split hours with another surgery. He has now come back full time so (fingers crossed) it should be easier to get appointments with him.

I explained what was going on to him and he has ordered an ultrasound of my abdominal area to check my gallbladder. He had a prod around my tummy and there was pain where the gallbladder is. I also often get a bitter taste in my mouth, usually after I eat, so he wants to just check it out. The pain today is bad, going once again through to my back. I am feeling sick but at the same time I am nervous about eating because the nausea usually gets worse once I do. Even my black coffee today made me want to throw up.

I have had this pain before but it usually comes and goes and it only really ever at night. I haven't had this nausea with it before either but now it has been constant for a week so I am glad that he has ordered tests.

I had a friend who was in pain and left it, just assumed it was MS related and she ended up in the hospital with a severe kidney infection.

I don't think this pain has anything to do with MS. They do list abdominal pain and nausea as a Lupus symptom so that brings me back to wondering what really is going on with me. All I know for certain at this point is I have an A4 sheet of paper almost full of symptoms along with an abnormal brain MRI. Some symptoms are more MS based, others scream Lupus and some cross over both. I feel like I am going mad. It's funny too because I get messages from people saying things like "It definitely sounds like MS to me" or "it doesn't sound like you have MS to me based on your symptoms". At this point I don't really care what it is, I just want to know so that I can get on with my life and find a way to manage the symptoms.

I talked to my GP about the "probably MS" diagnosis and the brain lesions and he agreed that if my Lumbar Puncture and spine MRI tests come back clear that we should probably explore the possibility of Lupus, this reassured me as I was really worried I would be just left in limbo. He told me that after I see my Neuro on April 12th, depending on what he says then we will look at a referral to a Rheumatologist.

I explained to him that feeling like this every day is affecting my family and also my work, I feel like my life is just on hold. This weekend Phil ended up taking the girls down to the beach by himself because I literally didn't have the energy to make the five minute walk down the hill. I felt like I let them down.

So today I will try to get some work done although it has been a challenge this week because of the pain but as the saying goes, the show must go on.

So enough about me, how are YOU?