Mood Swing Alert!

Good Morning Bleeps.

I am having a bad day. I wasn't going to blog because how many times can you write the same thing without your readers eyes glazing over?

I have woken up three nights in a row with such intense nausea. Really awful, the kind where your mouth is watering and you wish you could just throw up as it might make you feel better. Last night I reached across to the night stand, grabbed my bottle of water and just lay there holding on to it. I knew I needed to sip some of it but my arms were so heavy that I just lay there for ages with it in my hand, willing the awful sick feeling to go away.

This morning it is really bad, if I didn't know better I would be doing a pregnancy test (what was that loud crash I just heard? Phil fainting??!! haha). I just feel soooo sick. I am also dizzy as hell, my vision is funky and my body is tingling. I am so tired of this. I am so flipping BORED with feeling like rubbish every day. Sure I have some less crap days but they are still crappy. On a scale of one to total crap, today is a seven.

Then I feel guilty and give myself a bit of a mental slap around the face because the reality is that I am lucky to only feel like this. There are people out there that have so much more to deal with so who am I to complain? I can still walk, I can still drive (although some days it is a bit of a dodgy thing to do) and I am still able to live my life in an independent way.

I can intellectualise all of that but it is still tough when I feel sick, dizzy and in pain to remember that I am one of the lucky ones.

Oh sod it, who am I kidding? I am feeling sorry for myself. I am supposed to be going to see my good friend today who I haven't seen in weeks but I am stressed about driving just the short distance to her house because of how dizzy I am. I have to drive later anyway because I need to do the school run so not going out isn't an option as I think that child abandonment is still largely frowned upon.

I need a mental kick up the backside, yes it is a bad day but it sure as hell could be worse. I apologise for my language today but quite frankly I have toned it down compared to what I REALLY want to say.

So enough about me, how are YOU?

So this is usually the end right? You see "So enough about me ... " and you know I have said what I wanted to say. I bet you were secretly relieved because boy was I in a bad mood eh?

Then the doorbell rang and my whole day changed. How can I NOT blog about what just happened when once again, it seems that when I am having one of my really bad days an act of kindness makes me feel oh. so. much. better. To use the words used by my special second Mummy Joy, it is as if there are angels right here on earth keeping me sane, making this awful time easier to deal with.

I just received these most beautiful flowers with a box of chocolates from my lovely friends Dina, Azril and their gorgeous baby Salma. I met them as a photography client but we clicked and have become friends over the last couple of years, we were supposed to meet up in London for burgers but then I got sick and it has been postponed (but we will do it!).

You guys don't know how much this means to me, in fact, I am sitting here crying like a baby. I feel physically so rotten today and yet my heart is filled with such warmth. I am so touched, I am speechless and SO GRATEFUL. I love you and will hide the chocolates to stuff all by myself when my nausea passes.

To any of you reading this that live in or visit London then you MUST go and try one of their Chewy freshly baked puffs, they are delicious, simply to die for!

So (again) enough about me, how are YOU?