Let Light Shine Through

Good Morning Bleeps.

What a GLORIOUS day. I am such a great mood today. As I look outside I am looking at a cloudy sky but in my heart the sun is shining.

Why this wonderful mood you ask? It is because I am blessed with the most amazing people in my life. I remember writing (on one of my bad MS days) that I must have done something bad in a previous life to be suffering like I was but you know what? I take that back. Without this illness I would never have started this blog and as a result come into contact with the most amazing people.

Yesterday started out very well, my symptoms were almost non-existent, the sun was shining and I had some energy for a change. I was working happily way, published my blog and then all hell let loose. I guess some people recognised themselves in what I wrote and then posted very nasty accusations about me on a friend's wall (after she shared my blog on her Facebook timeline). I was accused of vile and disgusting things, all lies but boy did it hurt. I made what was written about me public on my own wall in case anybody else had heard these lies and had considered any of them to be true. The downside to "support" groups is that you can end up with mutual friends. I needed to make it clear that these were the rantings of a very unhappy individual and that there was no truth in them. That is all I will say about that part of the story as evil can only live if you feed it and this slanderous lie was evil.

I was thinking to myself then "enough", time to close off to the world, time to protect myself. I was done! As I got upset I started to get chest pains, dizzy, light-headed, my arms and legs started to tremble and I felt nauseas. Why bother blogging and sharing my life if it invites this in? Here I was feeling physically ill and yet I had done nothing wrong. It is true what they say about stress and MS not being a good mix because boy did my symptoms flare.

What happened next filled my heart with such love and reminded me WHY I do this. I got over 70 comments on the thread from my REAL friends offering me love and support, telling me how much my blog means to them, how much my friendship helps them on down days, how they didn't believe the lies and to hold my head high. Before long I was crying again but for a different reason. You know for every one awful person there are hundreds of GREAT people out there and I sure was remind of that yesterday.

I got Twitter messages from people telling me how they too had fallen victim to this sort of thing and had left Facebook as a result, how sad it that? I will be honest that I got friend requests yesterday that I thought about not accepting, how do you tell who are the wolves in sheep's clothing? How can you tell who is really there for you and on your side. I am the sort of person who just opens my life and my heart to people. That is quite a risk.

I told a family member that I am afraid to trust now, what if this happens again? She said "Not everyone will be kind but trust is earned. Thick skin is developed one layer at a time. Forge ahead and duck when those who throw barbs aim at you. That's the miracle of delete button! Have fun. You matter to a lot of people. Trust until the trust is broken. Then delete and move on."

So there you are, I am moving on. I am smiling and I feel so happy. Each message of support made my heart grow, I feel loved.

Last night my baby girl was in a school play, it was for her GCSE exams (for my international friends, this is an important "end of school life" exam here in England that is instrumental in helping you get into University/Colleges of your choice) and she was one of four girls in a scene that lasted 45 minutes. She played various characters and was SO amazingly brilliant, I couldn't stop smiling as I sat in the front row thinking to myself "wow, that is my baby up there". At 15 she is slowly turning into a beautiful young woman and I am so very proud of her. As she stood and delivered her monologue we made eye contact and my whole body was tingling, for once it wasn't MS, it was pure love and total pride. That girl of mine has massive talent, I see an Oscar in her future. It put my day into perspective, our loves ones, family and true friends are the people that really matter.

The same family member also reminded me of the Dr. Seuss quote, which is so true:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

I am surrounded by love and people who really DO care. I am blessed. All of this positive energy has made me feel so GREAT today.

So enough about me, how are YOU?