Yesterday when I woke up I had decided that I was going to thumb my nose at MS and finally get that Zumba DVD out of the box. You see before I had this relapse I had ordered the whole Zumba exercise package, complete with the Toning Sticks (that sound really funky when you shake them and take me back to my school days when I was allowed to use the maracas). I woke up fully intending to get my bum off the sofa and that maybe if I exercised I would feel better and more energised.
Well, that is what my HEAD wanted to do. My body however had other ideas.
Every time I stood up the room would spin around like I was on a merry-go-round and my legs felt weak and trembly. By Noon I hadn't even mustered up the energy to shower, which was a little embarrassing when a delivery man (who comes here quite regularly) rang the doorbell. I apologised for my appearance (didn't want him to think I was a lazy cow for still being in my pyjamas at lunch time) although when I explained why he very sweetly told me that I "still looked gorgeous" to him. He did make me smile but was clearly not mentally balanced!
You see lately my shower is taken in shifts and goes something like this:
Step one: Take a shower, wrap hair in towel and put on PJ's.
(Come downstairs and sit on sofa for half an hour).
Step two: Go back upstairs, get dressed and apply makeup. Comb wet hair through.
(Come downstairs and sit on sofa for half an hour, let hair dry out).
Step three: Try to make the best of the hair that now looks like crap because I was to knackered to blow dry.
So to get to my point (oh there is one? I hear you say) you would think that after feeling this exhausted all day long that I would fall into bed and into a full night of blissful, deep sleep, right?
WRONG!You see in some sort of sick cosmic joke there is a thing called MS Insomnia and I suffer from "Middle Insomnia", which means I fall asleep and then every night, like clockwork at around 2.30am I am wide awake and just can't get back to sleep.
How rubbish is that?
After a couple of hours of laying there in the darkness I was bored with facebook and had read the downloaded digital magazine from cover to cover. I decided to put the put my iPhone down and try to shut my eyes.
It was at this point that my toes start to twitch. "You have GOT to be kidding me". I actually said that out loud, hoping my toes would hear and go to sleep.
My other half, Phil, woke up and asked what the matter was and when I told him he said "hey, I have a joke for you".
"Go on then" I replied.
Are you ready for this my friends?
He replied with "what's the difference between twitchy toes and non-twitchy toes?"
I knew this wasn't going well but played along.
The punchline? MS!
He started to chuckle to himself (he was so proud, bless) and I just said "not funny". He was trying to cheer me up but personally I think he should leave the funnies to Michael McIntyre (but don't tell him I said that!).
Today I was supposed to be going to the gym for a swim (thought this might be a more realistic goal than Zumba) but it's almost noon and I am still on the sofa. I am however showered, dressed and made-up (although I have to confess to wet hair).
So enough about me, how are YOU?
x
I was diagnosed with MS three days before you, but I just found your blog today. I love how you describe your symptoms and feelings. The insomnia and ridiculous fatigue that are sometimes part of your life, the two different reactions that people have when they find out about the MS, the fact that you feel betrayed by a body that you've worked hard on, and basically all you have to say about MS- is infintely relatable to me. I feel like you are describing how I feel about MS.
ReplyDeleteI have loved all your blogs but todays was so apt for me! I was like that a couple of months ago and am very grateful every morning that its not as bad as that now. xx
ReplyDelete