And The BAB Award Goes To ...

Good Morning Bleeps.

Have you missed me? Well, I have missed you and what a week it has been (and still continues to be)!

I will probably break down my story over the next few days as I have had quite an experience and if I tried to tell the whole story in one go it would take you all day to read it and also if I sit up for too long I start to feel quite poorly. As it is I am writing this laying on the sofa with my laptop propped up on cushions.

As many of you know I went in for my Lumbar Punture on Tuesday 14th (Valentine's). I was told that Phil wasn't allowed to come in with me so he dropped me off at the door and went off shopping in Canterbury with my Mum and the girls. I was taken onto the day hospital ward and asked to change into a very sexy hospital gown, it's quite hard to pop those buttons down your back all by yourself so I only managed the top few and just wrapped the rest of the gown around me. I was a nervous wreck and asked the nurse if I could take one of my Valium pills to help me relax (I came prepared). She told me no and said I would be OK. I was a little upset that I wasn't allowed the drug but couldn't be bothered to argue.

I was in the middle cubicle and on either side of me were other women waiting to have their test done. I was to be the third (and last) person to have it done so I had quite a wait and could hear everything that was happening on the other sides of the curtain. I sat in the chair and listened while the first lady had her test done. The first thing I noticed was that she had her husband with her. I was NOT impressed. I asked my nurse why I was told that I couldn't have Phil there with me for support and yet this lady had her partner with her? She replied that while they don't like it, they can't stop a patient from bringing someone with them if they insist. Maybe that is where I go wrong, I am too polite and play by the rules. I should have just said "sod that, I want Phil there" and then I wouldn't have been alone and scared.

The first lady (with her man) was very vocal during her test. She literally screamed and complained of the pain the entire time. If I wasn't nervous when I got there, I sure as heck was after hearing her freaking out. I had my nurse with me and she shook her head and whispered "don't listen to her, you will be fine". The tone and look that she offered me suggested that the lady next to me was not a typical patient and that I shouldn't judge what it would be like based on what I was hearing.

I knew there was a lady on the other side of me waiting and being the open (nosey, obnoxious) person that I am I decided to have a chat with her. I walked around the bed so that I was on the other side of the curtain and said "knock knock, hello lady behind the curtain?" She replied with a "yes?" (probably wishing to be left alone but who wants to sit all by themselves getting nervous?). I asked her if she had ever had a lumbar puncture before and she replied that she had, about seven months ago and that it wasn't that bad. We chatted for just a short while and then it was her turn.

I sat and listened and sure enough, hardly a peep came from that lady. She was a real trooper and the lack of screams gave me a lot of comfort. She seemed to breeze through the test and so I relaxed .... a little!

Before long it was my turn. A lovely, young lady Doctor came in and introduced herself. She explained that I might feel some pushing and maybe some odd sensations but that the worst part would the anaesthetic as that would feel like a sharp scratch and then a bee sting. I was instructed to lay on my left side with my knees pulled up as close to my chest as possible.

She started to push and poke around on my back, marking out her target spot with a pen. I asked if I had a "good spine" to work with and she replied that I have the "best anotomical back" that she has had in a while. Of course, being the competitive person that I am (think Monica from Friends) I replied "Are you saying I win? I win the BAB (best anatomical back) award? Oh wow, I feel so honoured". You could say I use humour as a defence mechanism. The Doctor and the nurses all laughed and agreed that I did indeed get the BAB award although sadly no large, gold, man-shaped statue or anything was to be given as a prize.

She proceeded with the numbing process, the dreaded "worst part" that I had been warned of. Sure it was a bit of a sting but no big deal at all. This was the worst part? Easy peasy, that other woman must have been a wimp.  She checked that I was numb by poking me with a needle and I confirmed that yes, it was working and that I couldn't feel a thing. Boy, this was a breeze.  The main event started with a little pressure and some odd sensations as she had predcited but nothing I couldn't handle. I have had four kids after all, three of them naturally with no pain relief (not even gas and air!) so I have a good pain threshold. Then I heard her say "oh" and realised that it wasn't going as straight forward as she was hoping. I asked if everything was OK and she informed me that she had some blood come through and then it had all stopped. She thought that the needle had nicked the bottom of the dural sac that contains the spinal fluid and then it had clotted into the needle, nothing was coming out. The nurse went to get another needle and try again. She asked if I was OK to continue and I just told her to do whatever she needed to do to get the sample, no way did I want to have to come back.

The second needle went in and OH MY GOD I had the most intense pain shoot down my left leg and into my foot. I instantly burst into tears. Like I said, I am not a wimp when it comes to pain, I have been through childbirth and labour without even a pain killer but I have never felt anything like this. I felt like I had been zapped in an electric chair. I couldn't stop crying, literally like a baby. I started to feel a bit guilty for thinking the first lady that got tested was a drama queen. Anyone listening to me from behind the curtain would be thinking I was a pathetic baby but honestly it hurt. The nurse came to me and told me to hold her hand, which I did. I was conscious of not breaking her fingers because I was squeezing so hard. I kept apologising over and over for "being a baby" but I kept saying "I didn't expect that, it was a shock, I really didn't expect that". I must have sounded like a broken record but the nurse was lovely and kept reasurring me that I was doing great.

When it was all done I joked that I might not have prepared a speech to accept my BAB award but I did a Kate Winslet and cried instead, even in pain I found a good joke (well, at least I thought I was funny).

I was told to relax for a little while and was given a cup of coffee with a couple of biscuits. I had only been laying there for about fifteen minutes when the cleaning lady (I am assuming this is who she was as she was cleaning all the cubicles where people had left) pulled back my curtain and said "How much longer are you going to be here?" WTF?! I replied that I didn't know and go ask my nurse. Everything I had read said that it is best to lay flat as long as possible but I was getting out of bed, dressed and into the car for my half hour journey home within the hour.

I returned home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers (with chocolates) from my sister and brother-in-law, which was lovely. I received another bouquet during the afternoon from my Dad, also lovely. I was laying down as instructed all afternoon (drinking lots of coffee as caffeine is said to help) but by early evening I was in a lot of pain. I was warned that I might get a headache that was "like a hangover" and let's face it, I am no stranger to those but this pain wasn't in my head. Sure, I had a muzzy head but the pain in my back was unbearable. I knew I needed to lay down but laying down was killing my back. Sitting up was hurting my head. I ended up in tears saying that I just didn't know what to do with myself.

Before my test I had asked the Doctor if I was going to be OK to go out for my Valentines dinner (Phil had booked one of my favourite restaurants) but by about four o'clock it was obvious that I wasn't going anywhere, I was in too much pain and we had to cancel. I was so sad. I dosed myself up with pain killers and laid on the couch, not exactly a romantic Valentine's day but not something that I could help.

I hoped that when I woke up the next day I would be OK but the "fun" was just about to start. It is fair to say I have been in agony ever since. I need to rest now but will continue when I feel better, please let it be SOON!

So (for today) enough about me, how are YOU?