Can't We All Just Get Along?

Good Morning Bleeps.

This morning on the news they are reporting how there needs to be more compassion towards old people in hospitals and care homes. Apparently in the NHS the patient isn't always treated with kindness, Noooooo, you don't say?

When I was "admitted" for a whole hour into my closest hospital after six hours in A&E (thinking I was going to get help for my lumbar puncture headache) I was put on a ward with elderly female patients. There was one lady who kept calling out to nurses but they kept ignoring her and walking by, the lady in the bed next to me asked for water to the response of "it's next to you". I looked over and sure, it was on the table next to her but it was clearly out of her reach. She told the nurse that she couldn't reach it and the reply she got was "I am busy right now". To be fair the nurse was "busy" standing next to me, watching the electric blood pressure machine do it's thing. I can appreciate how pushing a button and standing still may be considered busy for some people but my goodness I wanted to get up and get the poor lady the water myself (even with my skull crushing head).

It makes me sad, where has kindness and compassion gone? To be fair, maybe that nurse was at the end of a 16 hour shift and was exhausted, I know that most of them do a wonderful job and work too long hours but that is not the patient's fault. Sure the NHS is to blame but a simple smile costs nothing, takes seconds and could make all the difference to the person who is sick.

It does make me wonder though, does being kind to our fellow humans really need to make the news? Didn't we all get taught that if you "can't say something nice then don't say anything at all?"

Since getting sick I have joined many forums and groups online trying to find out information and also to connect with like-minded people. I have met some really lovely people (you know who you are) and been supported through some really hard times lately. I have also witnessed a lot of ugly.

One of the first sites I joined led me to a wonderful MSer who was a great source of support from day one. I remember reaching out to a newbie on that site to offer support with words of something like "I don't feel like I should comment as I am still trying to figure this out myself" and this MSer validated me by saying that of course I could comment, that we are all struggling together. It made me feel less of a fraud. You see until you get an ACTUAL diagnosis (and at that time I hadn't had my MRI results or anything, I just knew how I was feeling) you can feel like a fraud.

I left that site because there seemed to be an undercurrent of "We have MS and you can't join our club", or at least that is how it felt to me. People were shot down with comments like "doesn't sound like you have MS to me" but it didn't come across to me in a kind "don't worry, it doesn't sound like you have this awful illness" kind of way, it was more like "piss off, you can't play with us". It got to the point where I was afraid to make posts in the fear of being shot down. You see when you feel poorly you can feel vulnerable at the best of times and I for one am MUCH too sensitive to deal with that sort of negativity. Thankfully I still chat to my MSer friend, he continues to be awesome.

I joined a couple of "closed groups" on Facebook and lately OMG there is so much nastiness. Who gives a crap if you do or don't believe that making diet changes may help MS? Who cares if one person is a CCSVI supporter or if another person thinks it is all bollocks? Some people can't drink alcohol and I feel better (symptoms lessen) after a glass of wine. Everyone is different, just as our symptoms are. I just had a good friend leave a group because someone called her fake for not having her FACE as her profile picture. I'm sorry but last time I checked you couldn't tell if someone has MS or not by how they look. Hmmm, that person's profile picture is their bottom (if I had an ass like that it would be my profile pic too!) so clearly they must not have MS. WTF?

We will all have varying opinions. It's OK to agree to disagree. Some people will advocate smoking cannabis to alleviate symptoms and others will say "but it is an illegal drug". It is ridiculous to expect people to agree on everything all of the time but (and maybe this is why my Dad always accused me of wearing rose tinted glasses) I DO expect common courtesy. I can't stand it that my friends are leaving groups because of a few trolls who don't have the common decency to JUST BE NICE!

My friend left a group recently and her parting words put it better than I can and so I quote (and hope she doesn't mind):

"I will be moving on..and thought I'd share my opinion, right or wrong. I dont care whether you are young or old, fat or skinny, white, black, or in between...rich or poor..living in a castle or under a bridge...married, single, divorced or widow.. many kids or no kids..religious views..who cares?? Own your own business, or work many jobs to make ends meet..or not work at all... SO???? Do I care if you use your own photo as a profile pic? Or will I condemn you and say you are false??? Does it matter if you post your backside instead of face..or a pic you like instead of a real photo of you?? I don't care if you are gay or straight...in love or in hate...or which part of this world you live in... Isnt this supposed to be a board about friendship/knowledge/sharing of MS?? Whether it has been 26 yrs or 26 minutes of diognosis?? We all have enough to deal with , by having , or probably having MS. We are all humans............not clones of each other... I wish all of you the best of luck in your MS journey."

I agree with everything she said. It doesn't matter if you have had your diagnosis for 5 minutes, 50 years or are still in limbo land trying to find out what evil has invaded your body. It doesn't matter about sex, colour, religious views or what you do for a living. You see, MS (or indeed any illness) doesn't discriminate and neither should we.

Isn't the point of these groups to support each other? Would these people talk to others in "real life" the way that they speak to each other online? Maybe my views are idealistic but if you don't like them then sod off because I am right and you are wrong (see what I did there?!)

Now, let's have a group hug. MS is the enemy, our fellow MSers are not.

So enough about me, how are YOU?