Different Day, Same Head

Good Morning Bleeps.

I am now nine days post Lumbar Puncture and guess what? Yup, still have a bad head. I decided yesterday that I wasn't going to acknowledge the headache any more. I made a concious decision that it was now all gone and I was taking my life back. I got off my back and sat at my desk where my main computer is because I needed to send an email to a client.

As I sat there composing my business email I was aware that the pressure was building up in my head and ears. Nope, not going to take any notice, go away headache because I am not interested in giving in to you today, you are not there.

Oh yes it was and the pressure continued to build. I closed my right eye because my brain was threatening to explode out of the socket. I needed to finish the email because it was a potential new client and I have to earn money. Unfortunately there is no "get out of jail free card" where bills are concerned.

As I hit send on the email I literally burst into tears. The pain was kicking my ass again, I was feeling sick AGAIN. I called Phil crying and asked if he would pick up Alice from school. I was supposed to get food when I did the school run and clearly this wasn't going to happen so I asked Phil if he was OK with us ordering in pizza (again). I sobbed to him how sorry I was and that I feel like a burden, I HATE this. Of course he told me to not be silly and to go and lay down but I was beside myself with pain and sadness.

I was also concerned because have an EP test booked at the hospital on Friday (tomorrow) and so I had a phone conversation with the secretary asking if it would be possible to reschedule. I am nervous that I wont be up for it, that my head will be too painful. The hospital is a thirty minute drive and who knows what the test involves (I don't) but a good friend told me that hers lasted for four hours. The lady told me that I couldn't reschedule the test since I already cancelled once before. I told her that this was the first appointment that I had ever had for this test and so that was a mistake. She replied that no, I had another appointment that I changed already. I insisted that I hadn't but she was having none of it. I guess computers are NEVER wrong?! Fine I said, I will be there. I was starting to wonder, did I piss off some sort of medical God somewhere or am I just terribly unlucky?

Later in the day I spoke to my sister on the phone and she was frustrated for me too. She always knows what to say to make me feel better and yesterday it was the AWESOME news that she had booked her tickets to come over for two weeks in the summer with my beautiful nephew and niece. I joked that I would probably still have my headache at this rate. I also told her how I was in this month's Montel Williams Face of MS video (just over the 5 min. mark). She watched it while I was on the phone with her and as soon as she saw my photo she started to cry. As soon as I heard her cry, I did too. Through my tears I joked that hey, I am finally famous and I never had so many friends before now, so it's all good. It only took a life-changing, chronic illness to make me popular. You have to joke, right?



My friends Krista (2 mins 30) and Sandra (4 mins 52) are here too. These ladies have been a massive support to me along with lots of other people I have met on Facebook, Twitter and via this Blog. I won't ever be able to give enough thanks for the support and friendship of so many lovely people, my silver lining in this big black cloud.


Today I am light headed yet again and my right eye socket is threatening to lose control of my brain. The pressure is building and I am wondering when I will ever be free from this head. I am DETERMINED to get on with it today. I have to get food in this house for my children, I don't care if I walk around with one eye closed and in pain to get it done. I can't give in to it today, I will fight.

My legs are seriously tingly and heavy today too and it's weird because before my LP head I would have been fed up about that but in a weird way these symptoms feel like "old friends" and I don't mind them being here keeping me company. Now if we could just gang up and evict the pain in my head that would be great.

I am not sure what to do if it continues. If I call my GP they will tell me to go to the A&E and we all know how wonderful THAT experience was. I tried calling NHS Direct but the machine said they are only dealing with urgent cases. What is considered urgent? A debilitating headache? I am not sure. It is quite a lonely place to be.

So enough about me, how are YOU?